How to overthrow the government (and have a good time, too!)

Vote for third party candidates, even if you don’t agree with them. It encourages other third party candidates to run. Better yet, write in “none of the above” at the bottom of your ballot. Or just don’t vote. The only problem with not voting is that it doesn’t do much good unless nobody votes. If you do vote, vote against referenda that would give money to the government.

Don’t take government money. Unemployment, AFDC, food stamps, farm subsidies, medicare, welfare, and all that shit comes from stolen money. Help out family and friends in need, and try to get their help when you need it instead of the government’s. If you’re in a position where it’s a question of survival, you can take their dirty money or just rob a bank. It’s all the same, really.

Put water in police car gas tanks, or better still, sugar. Water will ruin one tank of gas, but sugar will fuck the system up permanently. You can also ruin a police car’s paint job by “accidentally” spilling Coke on it. Any Coke-like drink will do, even homemade. In fact, homemade is best, because then you’re not giving the big corporations anything. Make love on police cars. Make love with Coke bottles on police cars.

Try to deliver your own mail, or have your friends deliver it. It’s very easy for post office or government forces to intercept packages that go through commercial shippers. Also, you’re making the post office, Federal Express, or UPS richer with every letter or package you send. Similarly, make as few phone calls as possible. Put out of order signs on pay phones. Make love in pay phones. Electronic mail is not safe from government eyes at all; in fact, it’s even easier for them to intercept e-mail messages than conventional mail. Don’t give away important information by e-mail.

If you’re working for a government agency, quit; if your girlfriend or boyfriend does, make them decide between their job and you. As an alternative, use a government job as a way to get your hands on government documents and “misplace” them.

Get into experimental art. Progressive music, erotica, antiestablishment or sexual drawings, paintings, or sculptures, performance art, erotic, cult, or antiestablishment films, anything anyone wants to ban. Do it yourself or help someone out who does.

Paralyze government or corporate buildings. Go into your favorite government or corporate building, turn out a light, take the light bulb out, and put a coin in the socket. Then put the bulb back in and turn the light on. The power grid will short out. Make love in your favorite government or corporate building.

“Borrow” things from your boss and distribute them to your friends for free. This is especially helpful if you work for the government. Make love at work.

Don’t answer the census; it’s used to create congressional districts. The more congressional districts there are, the more congressmen there are, the more money they take. Also, the census helps the government track you.

Throw rocks through windows. Torch billboards. You’re not committing vandalism. They are, by covering up the natural landscape with concrete and steel.

Buy moonshine or make it yourself. Legal alchohol is taxed, so every drink you take makes the government richer. Don’t buy smokes where they’re taxed, either. You can get tax-free smokes in Indian nations or you can grow your own tobacco. (Or pot). Also, remember that you don’t have to pay state sales tax on things that you buy by mail from out of state. Don’t buy state-run lottery tickets or gamble where it’s legal; you’re money is going to the government.

Drive as little as possible. Not only are you fucking up the environment, you’re also making the oil companies rich and you’re making the government rich because you’re paying the gas tax. Whenever you do drive, get the most you possibly can out of your car or truck. Start a transportation co-op or car pool; if you’re going to work, take your friends to work, too. If your car or truck gets a ticket, don’t pay it, you can use it for scrap paper and save a tree instead. If you see a ticket on someone else’s car, take it off.

Don’t work, or get the lowest paying job you can survive on. That way you’re paying less income tax. Or, if you like what you’re doing, keep on doing, just quit paying income tax. (Like Willie Nelson). The only problem with this is that you have to keep your head down if you want to stay out of jail.

Don’t register for the draft. If it comes down to it, sing “Alice’s Restaurant”.

Don’t get any credit cards. Pay for everything with cash or money orders. Banks keep records of every transaction you make, which the government can use to track you down. In general, keep away from anything that a record is made of. Don’t carry any form of identification. Don’t give anyone your social security number.

Turn off your tv. Turn off your radio. Commercial tv and radio belong to the companies who advertise on them, so you never get the whole truth, just the companies’ version of it. Even public tv and radio, at least most of it, is paid for in part by corporations. Start your own pirate radio station.

Pay for one paper from a newspaper box, then take them all out and leave them out on the ground for people.

Teach your kids yourself; don’t let the state-run schools fuck with their minds.

Own, carry, and know how to use firearms. Get them used from a friend, there’s no record of the sale. Get ammo, scopes, and other equipment while you still can; they may be outlawed at any time. Defend yourself, your friends, and your family; don’t depend on the police. Do they really defend you, anyway?

Live as independently from the government and the big corporations as you can. Get involved in co-ops and commumes or start your own.

Educate yourself. Know what’s going on, and make informed decisions about what to do about it. The more you know, the more dangerous you are to the government.

Dave Palmer